You're Going Down, Roger

I'll Give You Spachillas Roger Willoughsby! (This is why it is potientally NOT advisable that I write/do anything at 12:05... OR why it's the best idea ever!)

Listen, I don’t care how many attacking the messangers this has in it, whatever. Or how illogical it is. I don’t care. This is my beef with you, Roger Willoughsby of Chasm.

EO’s been through some crap. Some serious hard times. And we rode through it, we won, we did it. We’re free. Listen, nobody else’s done the history of EO. Well, I have. I’ve watched all those videos from top to bottom and I’m doing it again and writing it.

Let me tell you something.

FIRST YEAR:

We all fought. Over trival issues. It sucked. You couldn’t take two steps without someone cutting off your head (someone did once get stabbed by a pencil). Well, believe me, okay. It sucked.

But we held through, we stuck it out. We worked things out. We joined together. About October-December things started going good. And fell apart again through early March.

There was this giant battle. We had it all planned out. I didn’t go to it because I was tired and went to horse crap. Okay? Got it. Well, a bunch of our people died. A lot of them. It was really hard. And Little Bear and Iris and Grath and Starwort were taken capitive.

And there was more hard times. But on March 8th, 2021, The First Year of the Joining of EO, as I call it, I said, “wonder, beauty, magic… free magic” and it was RAD.

Got it?

And in the Second Year, we had some really hard times too. I bought this Demon, Stream, a pony (yeah, tell me, horse crap has been my downfall, I know). She was a demon. We sold her in March.

Roger departed for the northern lands, leaving Dr. Phil in his stead.

EO went on. Living through the crap of the battle, Stream, everything.

In the Third Year it kept going. According to Pa, I’m not doubting him, I just don’t know what has happened, EO went through some serious crap and challenges and lived on, even bigger than before, in the Third Year.

Roger returned in the Third Year, in the Zoomies of Orange Nirvana. Zoomies are seriously powerful, magical, wonderful things.

And in March he posted a fallacy post. That didn’t get read.

Well you know what Roger Willoughsby of Chasm did?

He threw a hissyfit. He whined like a toddler.

So it was that after all EO’s been through: Seattlelonia, the rich, powerful, fancy country; We Tell You What To Do Republic attacking us from inside out; the Demon and all the other horse crap; and other assalations from all sides, EO was broken in half by this tudknocker Roger Willoughsby of Chasm.

You know what I say to that, Rog?

You punk.

And I’m tired. Just wait ‘till I’m awake.

And EO isn’t broken yet. It’ll never be broken. Because it will always live on in the hearts and the souls of those of us who remain free and of EO.

It’s Chasm he destroyed. Chasm. And Wild Wind destroyed White Mountain. And Spooty destroyed the Big Apple, before she became Swizterland But With Corndogs.

Yes, Roger Willoughsby of Chasm, with his crap, destroyed not EO, but Chasm.

Maybe some of you don’t know what would have happened had we not all joined together back in September of the First Year.

This.

You look at the map and you see our ten colonies. They are colorful and viberant and awesome.

Instead.

You look at the map and you see the flag of Seattlelonia flying. There is no Chasm. No AR. Phidelpha, the Big Apple, Kentucky, and Tabacco Heaven have made a treaty with Seattlelonia. Chasm and AR are destroyed. The inhabitances of Peace and Heal and the Indians have fled. Salastrong and White Mountain are war towers, impenatrable. No one, not even a friend, can enter them.

Let me quote myself from the History of EO Land- First Year, so you can understand what I mean by nobody being able to enter White Mountain:

“In case this isn't making sense to anyone, has any readers read The Fellowship of the Ring where Elrond releases the river and sorta destroyes the ringwraths? That's basically what happens, except the mountains themselves do it and there is no commands from the horses. There is always (yes, always) snow on White Mountain and only the horses of White Mountain can come through it and survive. Should you attempt to seek to climb the mountain in a fair heart, maybe you will survive. Maybe not. They aren't the nicest to strangers. If you come attempting to destroy them... well... sayanora sucker. You're dead.”

Or if we hadn’t done the Fart Potion and I had wussed out.

Destruction of EO. Destroyed. Little Bear and the otters are dead. Chasm fighting teeth and claw. AR demolished. Seattlelonia gaining. Caught off guard, Salastrong is run down. White Mountain becomes an impentatrable tower. Big Apple destroyed… no more corndogs. YES. YOU HEAR THAT SPOOTY! NO MORE CORNDOGS. All the joy riding gone from Kentucky. Peace and Heal flying for all they can. Spitty and Rockstar lost in We Tell You What To Do Republic… uncovered… dead. Hanging in the town square as a reminder to all of them- do not rebel against our power. Indians gone or fighting. Spotty a slave in his own slave state. Phidelpha at some kind of treaty where the rich Bear is now turned into the miner Spitty. The map of EO torn.

But none of that did happen.

We lived through it.

So what was it that destroyed Chasm? White Mountain? The Big Apple? Because they aren’t of EO. Not anymore. They’re gone. Off pretending to do their own little thingie. EO lives onward. It will always live on, as long as any remember and honor it. And I, for one, always will. And there are others too… AR, Salastrong, Peace and Heal, Phidelpha, the Indians, Tabacco Heaven (no longer a slave state, but making music), and Kentucky.

What was it? What was it that broke Chasm, the colony Roger says he cares so much about?

Roger had a minor owie. He got his feelings hurt. Wah wee.

Roger.

Listen.

To.

This.

Roger had a minor owie
Got his feelings hurtied
Didn’t get his fallacy post read,
Oh wah wee wah!

He broke away from EO,
To make his own dumb little thingie,
Because he…

Had a minor owie!
Said, “I can’t do anything”,
Got his feelings hurtied.
Like Riv with his toe!

I’ll sing that. How about it, now? All together.

One…

Two…

Three…

Roger had a minor owie
Got his feelings hurtied
Didn’t get his fallacy post read,
Oh wah wee wah!

He broke away from EO,
To make his own dumb little thingie,
Because he…

Had a minor owie!
Said, “I can’t do anything”,
Got his feelings hurtied.
Like Riv with his toe!

And…

Whatever Roger,
stick it.
It’s a beautiful day outside,
I’m gonna live it.

Whatever Roger,
Stick it.
Nobody cares about your whiny, baby crap,
I’m gonna go live!

Come on everybody,
Roger’s throwing a hissyfit,
But who cares!
Whatever!
It’s a beautiful day outside,
I’m gonna go live it!

-General Rab Riverbattle, duh, you sucker